Pina Coladas and Bright Lipstick: Pretending it is summer

If You’re Not Into Yoga

So, it’s March here in Texas and last Saturday was an amazing 70 degrees ish.  We were all out on patios, I was wearing a crop top, it was Texas Independence weekend, all was right in the world.

Then black clouds descended from hell or Wisconsin or wherever and decided that temperature should and would drop down to about 18 degrees.  This really pissed me off.  All throughout the day on Monday I decided that it would be summer.  At least for me.  I put on a bright, orangey red lipstick, and “borrowed” a co-worker’s mini space heater.

Oh, summer where art thou?

Where to buy:

Lipstick (Select Lady Danger)

Coffee Mug

I’ll return it when I’m ready

It was all working, I was feeling tropical… Until I left work to get in my car and go home.

There was a motherfucking icicle on my motherfucking car.

This shit is not okay.

Desperate measures needed to be taken.  I decided to make Pina Coladas.

I used to work as a bartender and liquor sales rep during my multitude of jobs after college graduation and have gained a bit of knowledge on how to make decent cocktails.  So If you are feeling the winter blues like I am, feel free to borrow this super simple Pina Colada Recipe.

Materials:

• 1 Can Coconut Cream (I used Coco Lopez)
• Pineapple Juice
• Light Rum (I chose Plantation because I saw it first and we used it at the bar I worked at, I am sure you would be fine with most liquors if they’re not in a plastic bottle, since this drink is a sugar bomb)
• Blender
• Ice
• Pineapple for garnish (not optional, why would you not make your drink pretty, take the extra 3 minutes to cut up some pineapple, don’t be sloppy)

I didn’t know how to tell if a pineapple is ripe because I’ve never bought one before (shocker, I know) If you encounter the same problem click this link.

I used equal parts Coco Lopez and Pineapple juice, because in my opinion you need to have a good balance of acids and sugars.  An easy way to do this is to use the can of Coco Lopez then refill it up with pineapple juice.

Then I added about two cups of ice because I like my Pina Colada very smoothie-like.

Then add as much rum as you want.  I don’t want to tell you a certain amount because I don’t know how your day went.  I also don’t know what your tolerance or taste levels are, so start with a 1/2 cup of rum and move up from there, tasting along the way.

Then slice the pineapple into a triangle like a mini pineapple pizza and cut a slit down the middle of the pineapple chunk, use it for garnish.

So good.

I paired my Pina Colada with a gluten free Fiery Hawaiian Pizza from Dominos.  (If you haven’t had this pizza yet, you aren’t experiencing life to the fullest.)

Then I covered myself with a heated blanket and watched HBO.  It was as close as a day to the beach as I could get.  I am sure that exercise would be a good remedy for the winter blues, but you’re going to have a to go to someone else’s blog for that kind of content.